


förälskelse (it's swedish for love)

by canonlytrans



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Cronus Ampora Being Cronus Ampora, F/M, IKEA, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Minor Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Minor Feferi Peixes/Nepeta Leijon, Minor Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Minor Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes, Multi, Open Relationships, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19463011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canonlytrans/pseuds/canonlytrans
Summary: Dirk Strider meets his girlfriend's ex-something in IKEA, and from there, a happy trio blossoms.Probably.Well, SOMETHING definitely blossoms, and everyone ends up happy in the end.





	förälskelse (it's swedish for love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thescyfychannel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/gifts).



> the crofefdirk IKEA fic we've all been waiting for, I guess. this is for thescyfychannel. it's looking to be 4 chapters, each about 3-4k each, so that should be fun, but we'll see! (i know exactly where i'm going with this.)
>
>> IKEA PROMPT. setting up the bedroom? organizing the styles? even them just.....wandering through ikea.......
>> 
>> I've added this link for inspiration because the bedroom layouts??? fucking amazing.
>> 
>> ikea related options:  
> \- getting lost in a massive ikea  
> \- terrible assembly incidents  
> \- Someone Works At Ikea And They Can't Fucking Deal With This Idiot Couple (possibly with a side of I'LL COME OVER AND SET IT UP MYSELF ending in polyamory)  
> \- someone accidentally wandered into Dark Ikea (please no horror though I'm a goddamn fucking wuss)  
> \- Ikea is a front for the Fae and now one or two of these characters (who wandered into the Wrong Home Setup) have to Deal With That
>> 
>> whatever route you go Please do a happy ending thank you......
>> 
>> URL: http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_CA/catalogue/catalogue_index.html

Feferi, you think, is going to be the death of you. You’re 100% certain of this, because your girlfriend is the absolute worst person in existence (okay, not really), and dragging you to IKEA on a Sunday afternoon for the most ridiculous of reasons - meatballs. Swedish meatballs. Well, and to look at furniture for your apartment, which is also very important, you suppose, since all you have between you is a king-sized bed and a few chairs.

That is, after all, what happens when Feferi’s parents go “alas, my only child - what, no, Meenah definitely exists, sorry Meenah - ‘tis time you go out and see the world.” Or at least, that’s what you’re assuming happened, because she showed up at your place and went, “my parents kicked me out” with this face like a dog who’d just been forcibly bathed.

So you went, “well, you can live here,” because your place was empty as all get out, and way better than living with your brothers.

So Feferi moved in with you, and that was that.

But then after about a week, she started complaining about the lack of furniture. “We don’t have a table,” she said, to which you replied, “I just eat on the floor” and she glared at you. “Dirk,” she said, and took your hands, “I know you’re used to living in a shithole, pardon my language, but I’m not!”

“Fine,” you said, “we can get some goddamn furniture. But with what money?”

“Well, we both have jobs, and I have money saved up for my own apartment -” (at which, you blanched.) “- so it won’t be too big a deal.”

Ah yes, because you being a mechanic’s assistant - which was probably a made up job but because you were only 21 and hadn’t actually gone through school for that shit, and they needed to hire someone, it now existed - and her being a fucking Lush employee, selling bathbombs to the masses… you most definitely had the money to furnish an entire one-bedroom apartment.

If your Bro _wasn’t_ paying for the apartment, you’d probably have died in a ditch somewhere. What a tragic ending to your story. When he’d found out Feferi was moving in, he looked at you and went, “don’t have sex on the counters,” and fucked off to god knows where with your younger brother and half-sister. You’re pretty sure they’re currently in Australia, but you couldn’t care less.

So now, here you are, in IKEA, on a Sunday when you could be at home making nachos and drinking Fanta while watching TV on your laptop, with your girlfriend curled up next to you. Way better than being in IKEA.

Especially since the apartment is clothing-optional.

So you’re carrying a jar of Lingonberry jam in a shopping cart, while Feferi looks at a floraly loveseat. “The covers are removable,” she reads aloud, then looks over at you. “What do you think?”

“I think it looks like a garden barfed on it.”

“Wow. Real mature, Dirk.”

“Hey, never said I didn’t like it. It’s not the worst sofa I’ve seen so far. That brown one back there looked like someone vomited all over it and then spent a gazillion and a half years trying to clean it up, hereby making the mess a shitstain up the wazoo.”

Feferi raises one perfect eyebrow at you. “That’s gross, for one, and for two? I don’t like it.”

“Thank god.”

She laughs, and there’s the noise that enthralled you from the get-go. Fucking ethereal. You’d thought you were only into men up until Feferi Peixes came along - but it didn’t really matter, because you loved her a lot. Had for three and a half years now. If you were gay aside from her (if that was even a thing), that was cool, but Feferi was smart, and gorgeous, and everything you'd really ever wanted in a person, guy or gal. Sure, it'd been a mildly weird conversation to have with your friends, but they accepted it, and you were over whatever tiny crisis you'd had at the beginning, because in the end? Feferi was perfect for you, and you couldn't possibly ask for a better partner. Three and a half years, after all.

So yeah, you were both used to each other’s bullshit or lack thereof. Which was a goddamn good thing.

“When you picture our apartment, like… completely furnished… what do you picture?” Feferi asks, and she comes up behind you, putting her hands over your eyes. Her long hair tickles the back of your neck - she’s wearing heels, and she’s already a few inches over you. “Just think about it for a moment.”

You try to picture you apartment, but all that comes up is the image of your Bro’s smuppets shoved into every nook, crevice, and cranny. You try to clear that thought, but nothing works. “Maybe like one of those weird L-shaped sofas. They always look really comfortable.”

“Oh, you’re right. Hmmm… aha,” she says, and uncovers your eyes, leaving you blinking. Should’ve worn your dumb anime shades, bruh. “Here’s one. There’s some nice fabric options, too, and it’s only $684. It’s more of a couch/chaise lounge combo, though… but it doubles as a bed?”

You balk a little at the price. You’re pretty sure the bed at your childhood home was like, fifty bucks on Craigslist. “We could just look at Ebay,” you say.

“We could,” she concedes, looking over at you behind her pink-framed glasses, and she smiles. “We don’t have to buy anything, Dirk, we can just look and check on Ebay or Craiglist or -”

“Do y’need anythin’?” says someone, from behind you.

You turn, your eyes falling on a guy who looks like he could be John Travolta in Grease’s stunt double. Minus the scar on his forehead, shaped like two Zs (what was this, Harry Potter?), and the IKEA employee uniform, he looks almost exactly like the guy. He also looks mildly familiar, but you can't place where. He’s just looking at you and Feferi like he owns this joint, like this is HIS IKEA and you’re intruding on his goddamn chaise lounge.

“Nah,” you say, attempting to wave him off. “We’re fantastic.”

“Alrighty,” he says, then pauses, looking beside you. “W...waiiiit, Feferi? Feferi _Peixes_?”

You look between the two. Your girlfriend just looks bewildered. Then her eyes widen. “...Cronus Ampora? Oh my glubbing god, it’s been _years_! How are you?”

“Y’know me, babe, just chillin’ it up. Been workin’ here for a few months. Didn’t know you still lived in Austin,” he says, and shoots you a glare. “Who’s this guy?”

“My boyfriend. Dirk, this is Cronus - he’s Eridan’s older brother. He went to school with Meenah and her friends.” She giggles, and you raise an eyebrow at her. “I used to have a huge crush on him. That was before I found out Eridan was crushing on me, but you know…”

You look over at the guy, this Cronus dude (you can see the resemblance between him and his little brother), and you try to see what she saw in him. You have to concede to her that he is pretty damn attractive, in a 50s Greaser-kinda way. He’s got nice hips, too, and you’ve always been a hips/ass guy when it comes to men. You can sort of see why she liked him when she was, what, barely a high school student? Maybe a little older. You’d make a joke about how it was because she hadn’t met you yet, but since Feferi’s dated a few other people while the two of you’ve dated - with your consent, obviously, you’re not some heathen who lets his girlfriend cuck him, har har - that’d be in bad taste.

(You still remember when she dated Nepeta very, very fondly. Nepeta’s boyfriend, Equius, was a fucking _catch_ , fish pun necessary, and you WOULD have asked him out, but it was entirely probable he wasn't polyamorous, so there wasn't really a use in checking. If you had a time machine, though...)

Aaaaaand oh my god, Feferi’s actually _blushing_ , her brown cheeks tinted sort of rosy. You look between the two, again, and this Cronus guy’s actually blushing a little, too. You end up frowning and look over and go, “So, the two of you made out or something, right? ‘Cause the tension here’s killing me.”

“Uh,” says Cronus, and he looks all blank faced, as if the shock's getting right to him.

“Look, we’re stalling up this entire fucking aisle here,” you say. “Just tell me so I can go and look at plates or whatever Fef wants to look at - hey, babe, do we need plates?”

“We don’t,” she says, then laughs awkwardly, glancing at her hands. “We… slept together… but that’s it!”

“Cool,” you say, and shrug. “I don’t care. If you wanna do it again, go ahead. Just don’t bang in my bed or something, please. That’d be really goddamn weird, so let’s just skip the potential casualty of me walking in on him with his dick out.”

Feferi laughs again, even more awkwardly, and you raise your eyebrows at her.

“I’m serious. Death-by-seeing-dick is _not_ how I want to go.”

“Heh, as _muuuuch_ fun as this is,” says Cronus, looking shiftily over at you (or maybe you're just seeing things and it's not actually shifty), “you’re right, y’stallin’ everyone here. Wh-why don’t you two go an’ get your plates an’ all that jazz?”

He’s got a bit of a stutter, you note. It’s kinda cute. Not as bad as his brother’s - you wonder if it’s an Ampora trait. He also doesn’t look like his younger brother, minus the violet-colored eyes that have this weird, uncanny fishy look to them (you used to wonder if Eridan was secretly a mermaid, except that made absolutely no sense, and mermaids weren’t fucking real anyways. Well, as far as you knew, they weren't real.)

You grab your girlfriend’s hand and say, “Let’s go look at coffee tables.” She nods, clearly relieved to get out of this awkward situation, and you can't blame her in the slightest, so the two of you slide right on over to look at coffee tables, as if that's going to change exactly how awkward it is that she just ran into her ex best friend's big bro who she slept with, once upon a time.

You guess it COULD be worse.

  
  


Your apartment looks ridiculously full with a couch, coffee table, and actual dining table in it (it’s a “drop leaf” table, which Feferi says would be nice if you ever have guests over. When you refuted her with a “do we even know people?” she looked you right in the eyes and said, “it’d also be nice for table sex,” and you relented. Not that that was the only reason, obviously, because you DID know people - Jane, Roxy, your brothers and half-sister.)

Feferi’s hammering the cabinet/storage combo thing into the wall when you get back from your coffee run (plain iced black for Feferi, white chocolate frappe for you - the first time you ordered coffee, Feferi looked you right in the eyes and called you a wuss. You fell in love instantly.) She pauses, wipes the sweat off her forehead, and sets down the hammer. You pause to admire her arms, because damn if she doesn’t have a nice body. Swimmer’s build and all that. “Thanks,” she says, and you tilt your head up slightly to kiss her. “I think the apartment looks really good! The couch is comfortable… the coffee table’s nice for…” She pauses, casts a glance over at it, “...keeping your robotic parts on…”

“Where else am I gonna put ‘em?” you ask, and take a sip of your coffee.

Feferi laughs, and takes a drink of her coffee, then sets it on the cabinet to test it. Nothing happens, and she lets out a sigh of relief, slumping down against the couch. She looks really great in sweatpants and a shirt tied up all crop top-y - that’s YOUR girlfriend.

You, Dirk Strider, won the jackpot in possible significant others.

She looks over at you, makes a ‘come hither’ motion, and you collapse on top of her, your head face down in her boobs. She starts laughing and you move so you’re laying across her stomach and lap, which is mildly less comfortable, but honestly, you’re chill with it. God do you love this woman.

“When you said we’d be getting furniture, I didn’t actually expect it to… be… _home-y_.”

Her hand tangles up in your hair. “Well, we _do_ live here. Probably a good thing… you’d be hopeless without a roomie.”

She’s right, and you know it, but you still groan. “Do you have to say that?”

“Well, I AM right, aren’t I? I know you’re capable of cleaning… and cooking… and actually eating what you cook… but you’ve taken three hour long showers before,” she says, and you look up to see her pouting. “And that’s not even with me in them!”

(Showers with Feferi suck, because she’s always reminding you to wash your hair. Not that personal hygiene bothers you, but you like not using her strawberry-scented shampoo. You don’t want to smell like her, because _then_ what’d be the point of stealing her hoodies when you live in Asscrackhot, Texas? You’re a simple guy with simple wants.)

You let out a sigh, because she IS right. “Alright, fine, I’ll yield to that. I’m waiving my rights to speak on this subject. I’m glad it’s… home-y.”

“Good,” she says, and plants a kiss on your forehead. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, by the way…”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow at her, and sit up, because ‘talk’ is the magic word that usually means Bad News Time, or something along those lines. “Okay, can you at least give me a hint on what it is that you wanna discuss, or am I going to be trapped in the no-clue-zone for an eternity, or however long it is ‘til -”

“I’d… like to go on a date with someone,” she says, and frowns at you before laughing awkwardly. “I mean, not a romantic date! It’s a platonic one. But… I -”

“Was it that Ampora guy?” you ask. “The one at IKEA.”

Feferi blush hits you like a freight train and you know you’re probably right on track there. “Well… um, yes. But it’s just a platonic date, I promise!”

“I couldn’t care less if you slept with the guy. You two could fuck right after your date and I genuinely wouldn’t mind, just give me a head’s up if you’re not coming home afterwards. Like, seriously, Fef - I don't care if you get all lovey-dovey on this guy's unsuspecting or possibly suspecting ass. You know our open door policy.”

“I know… but honestly… um, he’s…” She sighs, and moves away, her arms folded. “He was the first person I slept with. Me and Sollux… we wanted to wait, and then… well, we broke up, and Cronus was right there, and he was nice to me in his weird kinda misogynistic way… I mean, he’s obsessed with the 50s, and you know how gross those were.”

You do. Perks of being someone who had a history obsession for a hot minute back in high school. You’re glad only Roxy and Jane and Jake saw your reenactment of Lincoln’s famed speech, ‘cause you looked _horrible_ in a top hat. Frankly, if it hadn’t been for Jake, you’d probably still be interested in historical… things.

Thank god you’re not anymore.

"But he grew out of that pretty quickly. I think he was just trying to find somewhere he fit in." She laughs. "He's just, always been a little... overly flirty? I liked him, he was sweet, but... still a bit of a dick sometimes."

“I mean, so am I, and you love me irregardless. But maybe he’s changed,” you say offhandedly, as if this is a fact of life, because honestly you don’t care about this Cronus guy, not one bit. You don’t know him. He doesn’t know you. The only link you have between the two of you is Feferi, and that honestly doesn’t mean much in the long run, now does it?

“Maybe,” she says, and laughs again, and you kiss her, because really? You know that she loves you and that you love her.


End file.
